Baseball-O-Matic 9000

Farrell took Price out in the bottom of the 9th and the Angels beat the Red Sox in Anaheim.

I like Farrell, Price, and the Red Sox. I have no bones to pick there. I also have no set demand that pitchers always throw more than 100 pitches — Price had thrown 109 through eight.

My thesis is simple: the pitcher in the game should be the one who can get the other team out.

If that’s someone you leave in there, put in there, or swap in and out five times in an inning …

Whatever.

In fact, apropos of the 100 pitch count … I’d support a starting pitcher throwing three innings or 50 pitches (or 72 or 19 or … ). The whole point — your one job — is to get batters out. That’s it.

But managers are technicians. All of baseball is about techné. It’s stomach-churning to watch. It’s ugly. It’s endemic. It’s Tab-A-Into-Slot-B work and no wonder sports talk is so stoopid.

The way they play the game today it could all be done by a bunch of pimply 12-year-olds in a room wallpapered with Radiohead posters.

Try these ideas —

  1. Everything currently done in pitching — pitch count, starter, set-up man, closer — because “that’s the way it’s done” was at one time not done. Hell, in baseball overall.
  2. The 100 pitch count is totally arbitrary, a function of our fascination with round numbers and a vague idea of pitches per inning, times about 6 or 7 of those frames.
  3. The pitch count stays at 100 in both leagues — even though National League pitchers also hit. If we’re worried about their constitutions, shouldn’t they only throw … 75?
  4. If a pitcher throws 110 or (heaven help us!) 120 pitches all the old ladies in the broadcaster booth bust open their well-worn manuals and start squawking about fatigue.
    BUT
  5. If a pitcher gets hammered one game and only throws 50 pitches, nobody says, “Oh, well; he can do 150 on his next start, then.”
  6. Also arbitrary: “set-up” guys and “closers” do far fewer than 100? Why? They throw harder? Not all of them. But so what? Talking heads start squealing like pigs at 20 pitches anyway.
  7. A six-man rotation. Instead of five starts a month, pitchers take four. Voilá! Now each can throw 125 per start … right?
  8. Mix it up. Have them throw 50 one game, 75 another, 100 another. Why not? They stay in to get batters out, they “confuse” their muscles, they push, they rest … whatever works.
  9. Pay pitchers per pitch. If the problem is length of season or career pay a base salary + per pitch. Pay per pitch over a certain per-game average or season total.
  10. The difference between what I’m saying and what occurs is as few as a five to 15 pitches — about 10% of a night’s total. That’s going to kill the guy’s next start?
  11. Everyone can go (up to) one more inning which would solve the “problem” of the six-man rotation (e.g., the cost). This does not mean they must go an extra inning; it says they can.
  12. The reason this isn’t going to happen — until of course it does and everyone freaks out … and then it begins to work … and is widely adopted — is “that’s the way it’s done.”

Not “that’s the way we do it,” mind you — because that would require human agency and a little imagination.

But of course that’s what they have — a very, very, very little imagination.

 

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent

Coyotes and Christians

I am not saying Christians are like coyotes. [For that, some could cut caustically to coyotes are like Christians — tricksters, roaming in the dark, feeding on the dead … ] Simply noticed — somewhat in passing, as it’s said, having attained, apparently … achieved? … some kind of state where nearly anything I hear,

Read More »

And Did Dostoevsky Say ‘Beauty Will Save’

Short answer: he did not. Neither did Prince Myshkin, that we know of. Likely both believed it. Beauty — in the person of Christ — will do so. And clearly D wrote of M in The Idiot to explore art and beauty and ugliness and salvation. But did he say it, and did he believe that

Read More »

What I Recalled Watching Netflix

[Television is educational.]   One Saying the same stuff over and over looks like you have different things to say. Two If you’re ever in a below-average film or streaming series, and you beat the tar out of a guy, in a house, and you gaze down in both some shock as also a certain

Read More »

Seeking the King

A line everywhere misattributed to Chesterton reads thus: The young man who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for God. This line is not from the great [several senses of the word] man who recently celebrated his 150th birthday, but the mid-century most unmodern novelist Bruce Marshall. The words — which do

Read More »

Random

Who They Are

The poet felt injustice in calling it Fancy Ketchup. The priest said the most grievous sins can be forgiven. * The priest wondered if anyone changed. The poet said he’d seen it often, depending on who was paying. * The poet would punish evil by making them hated by all. The priest would in having

Read More »

Ship of Friend

Two dynamics characterize the practice of contemplation: deepening concentration and expanding awareness. These two are one. They give birth to twins: inner solitude and loving solidarity with all. Martin Laird, A Sunlight Absence This post started a little rando, but its contents aren’t … heh — especially where its contents aren’t mine. Elsewhere — possibly

Read More »

Drinking the Seth Godin … Milk

Motivator Manipulator Maven Which is he? I’m going with maven. Maven may be one of those words we’ve lost sight of, like integrity. Integrity means “wholeness” but we’ve reduced it to “honesty.” So too maven — which means “connoisseur” — has been ironicized, demeaned really, into something like “one who condescends” referring to someone looking

Read More »

For M

The great story is the search by the lover for the beloved. I love M. I am in love with M. [angry as well; in love and in pain, simul.] To love as Christ loves. (ask, seek, knock). God pursues. Christ stands. Spirit groans. I am he. I seek her even if she will not

Read More »

Related

Time, Treasure

Saw an episode ages ago of one of the Twilight Zone reboots which, I’m pretty sure, starred Mark Hamill as this weird kid who collected toys. All this kitschy stuff from the ‘50s and grew up collecting them — and thus stayed weird and for the most part apparently lonely for his life entire. Of course

Read More »

Burning and Bleeding

Of mercy’s fire and blood Mercy burns, wrote Mary Flannery O’Connor, by which she meant … well, let’s think on it for a minute or so, before we say. For we have ideas of mercy, several actually, and we must discard them all the time, and destroy them if can, as quickly as supernaturally possible.  One

Read More »

Business Card

  Live lean. Altar ends. Mercy burns. Pleasantly surprising. Love to the point of folly. Afflictions eclipsed by glory. Write until your fingers break. Everything worth doing hurts like hell. The individual will be thoroughly misunderstood. Write as if you were dying … — that is, after all, the case. Completely fearless, absurdly happy, and in

Read More »

Hide and See

Something lost, Dallas Willard said once, might yet be very valuable. One’s car keys for instance. He was speaking somewhat in the context of salvation, if I recall … the general point was calling something lost doesn’t mean it’s not wanted — quite the opposite. Yet it remains … until finding its way out or being found

Read More »