Didn’t Graduate

Hadda a girl once, this was during college.

Darkest, longest hair, biggest brownest eyes …

Not that kind of story, whatever kind you thought.

Being stupid (I said this was during college, yes?) I’d no idea … none. Not what it was nor what it cd be and thus not that one though it set me off on the one I have which for better or worse is mine. So, mentioned here just for this: we used’ta have this exchange wherein my journeying to university had come lacking nearly withal the blessing of the state, by completing a sanctioned diploma program in high school. Took the equivalency exam, which a moderately accomplished monkey in the 8th grade could’ve passed — seemed like ‘you might need it’ applied here — but I didn’t, and don’t, have a high school diploma.

Whenever I said that to Rachelle she nearly always rightly mocked me in a gruff approximation of a voice we s’posed to might’ve belonged to an ignorant caveman:

‘heh, heh … snort … I dudn’t grade-jyoo-eight.’

The truth of it was that I didn’t graduate … but I did finish. Prolly coulda done so as an eighth grade simian save for the five-paragraph essay they required to get out of the ninth. I cd’ve written it, sure, but for the blinkered Philistines running the show who wouldn’a have administered it.

And of course the point of the truth is that it didn’t matter.

It didn’t matter I snort … dudn’t grade-jyoo-eight … because there I was at USC and, more broadly, no one would care.

One at about that time did — another girl sorta hadda, had in high school said she broke up with me because I hadn’t ‘had my senior year experience’ so she at the time cared, but that’s it.

No one since ever has.

This is a lawngish way of saying, but mayhap not an unenjoyable way of hearing, that sometimes I’ve been known to do a thing different. This is not me tryin’a sound so cool (a detestable thing; read late, semi-sainted journalist and Roman Catholic Michael Kelly’s essay, ‘King of Cool’ — you can find it by Googling his name with ‘Do not blame it on the bossa nova’ or just click here).

A place presently fitful for this anti-socialization behavior is graduate school — or as Rachelle might mock, grade-jyoo-eight skool.

My APA papers are APA papers but do not sound like APA papers.

This causes a response very exactly like, ‘This is not an APA paper.’

Imagine a shopping list that rhymes.

A room piled with papers, plied with books, not the 60-inch TV expected.

A black bear with a mountainous interstate highway-shaped streak of charcoal gray down his spine.

Are they still a list, a room, a bear?

Not what we thought such things hadda be.

If we care a’tall on’t we may end up caring more.

If we don’t, that’s not a person I’m writing to for with.

Not even with for to grade-jyoo-eight.

None too cool it ain’t.

Which is OK.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent

And Did Dostoevsky Say ‘Beauty Will Save’

Short answer: he did not. Neither did Prince Myshkin, that we know of. Likely both believed it. Beauty — in the person of Christ — will do so. And clearly D wrote of M in The Idiot to explore art and beauty and ugliness and salvation. But did he say it, and did he believe that

Read More »

What I Recalled Watching Netflix

[Television is educational.]   One Saying the same stuff over and over looks like you have different things to say. Two If you’re ever in a below-average film or streaming series, and you beat the tar out of a guy, in a house, and you gaze down in both some shock as also a certain

Read More »

Seeking the King

A line everywhere misattributed to Chesterton reads thus: The young man who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for God. This line is not from the great [several senses of the word] man who recently celebrated his 150th birthday, but the mid-century most unmodern novelist Bruce Marshall. The words — which do

Read More »

He’s the Guy

Those social media posts of ‘this moment in this famous film was totally unscripted!!!’ as if that by itself makes it better miss the point. Moat unscripted material, like most ideas, inventions, ideas, notions, &c … fails — such is the nature of creativity: the best stuff, it is devoutly to be wished, sticks around;

Read More »

Random

Closer

Norm’s is the kind of restaurant where across the street there is a long car wash, a 12-unit apartment building, a donut shop open most of the hours Norm’s is open, a strip mall with a “Luxury Day Spa” between the cigarette store and the cut-rate auto insurance broker: “Free SR-22 Filings!” the sign says. It’s

Read More »

Semi Stuff

Here’s a way to say it — I pay attention, I notice things, I remember, I make connections; my mind moves fast — and long, on the connections. Draw the well deep, carry far the water. [The semi-colon technically ‘replaces’ the period but artfully between the two a difference wd be how a semi-colon can

Read More »

Faith in the Shadowlands

Casting Crowns made me cry. It was the song “Somewhere in the Middle” — sometimes called “Caught in the Middle” on the Internet. I misheard one of the lines too — the phrase is “deepwater faith, in the shallow end.” It was also a little disconcerting to learn that it was written for teenagers. We

Read More »

Related

Ensamples

Among the worst things about The Slap is how it has fed self-righteousness in all but the two participants, and they already had it or it wldn’t have happened. But there is Solzhenitsyn, again, with the line between good and evil that cuts through every human heart, and there is Dostoevsky, always, reminding us via

Read More »

Lipstick

Pig is revelation. Revealing is when what’s here is hidden then seen. It’s really many individual ones, though widely considered they’re the same, and all the individuals are related, perhaps only proximately at first, but also in ways they themselves don’t initially see. + Key is it’s here. Problem is we don’t see it. Action

Read More »

Meme! Meme! Meme!

Memes are perfect for the extremely limited things they can do. Or as my Da usedta say, prolly swiping from mid-20th century comedian Benny Youngman Berle, they’re in pretty good shape for the shape they’re in. If they weren’t limited they wouldn’t be easy and if they weren’t easy they wouldn’t be common and as

Read More »

Finding Level

Relationship finds its own level. Generally it looks like we [and others] choose — a boy’s entreatment rejected, an attorney makes partner, 158 million of us vote — but there is a finality to much that we ostensibly do. This is how such absurdities as determinism gain purchase, how authors can talk and be misunderstood

Read More »