Dance With Who Brung Ya

We’re observing Columbus Day with doughy, deep-fried donuts dusted with powdered sugar.

It’s hard to hate old Christopher when M makes zeppole.

But we are supposed to hate him, we’re told. We’re told, I say! We’re told he to do so because he was a bad man — he was a very bad man. The history books were wrong, we’re ordered to believe by a whole ‘nother set of history books.

[This puts me in mind of an editor I once worked for, who announced one day that some kerfuffle about President Clinton’s coiffure was (like the hair itself, actually) overblown. The media had got it wrong …

And how did we know the media had got it wrong? She’d read it in the newspaper.

This was a working journalist, you see.]

Which only shows to go ya not that we ought to believe no one, but that, roughly speaking, we can evade even more difficult situations by believing everyone. Or at least letting them believe it.

This is how mature, well-adjusted people manage being so. They have not only learned to say “no” when asked to speak at the Southeast Amalgamated French Bakers Union of South Dakota (Reorganized), they have mastered the art of “Uh huh” and “You don’t say!” when they want more than all the zeppole in the world for the other person to stop saying it.

In other words, when they say, “You don’t say!” more likely than pleased they are pleading. It’s a request. But it coats the rocky path ahead somewhat and, yes, sometimes this makes us to fall onto the rocks, most of the time it helps us glide right over them like angels on cake.

And this is somewhat how I feel when reading revisionist accounts of Christopher Columbus.

Just somewhat because, yes, most of the time more truth is better: it may not save, or even seem to change a thing, but generally, it’s better. So knowing more about the guy, in this case some potentially really hard stuff, well, put me down for one order of knowing.

Then again if it makes one into a supercilious prig, it might not be a wholly good idea. Power corrupts but so do facts. Instead of submitting to them, we marshal them. Instead of sanity and humility as we face our monumental — and quite recent — ignorance, we become arrogant and bloodthirsty.

We are like children tacking between the lemonade stand and the later years where it looks like lemons all the way down, announcing at dinner and every other opportunity the many new disconnected facts we just learned … which is to say uncritically accepted.

It may be necessary, and generally better, but it ain’t pretty.

If I were to say you must now stop regarding funnel cakes as authentic American fair food and must now — right now — think of them as a failed effort at Italian fair food, it would be a fair piece to hope you’ll say, “Uh huh” and “You don’t say!”

And zeppole were a way for people to celebrate their heritage, which is a good thing; and come together in parades and carny games, which is a good thing; and eat dusted donuts, which is a good thing. And it still is, along with being a way to remember, which is one of the best things of all.

Saying Columbus was a sonofabitch should surprise no one. We all are. It’s biblical, historical, and daily empirical. And the problem is what happens when we change our mind, when we go with the new stuff.

Now we hate him uncritically.

Still a lie and priggish besides.

It’s all a big scam, you know. A conspiracy. The combines/conglomerates/conmen are trying to tell us what to think/say/do. Fight the power! Stick it to the Man.

Says the New Man.

The answer may be to believe all of them, which is partly to say none of them, but more to say find the thing to believe that encompasses all and none, and transcends both, and both of them.

When it’s lemons all the way down, this is actually the way get back to the lemonade stand. It’s not about believing everything or nothing, even if, like the middle stage of our uncritical fact acceptance, necessary.

And it’s not the cynical Cool or trite “Whatever!”

Some say it’s out there.

Some say ‘t isn’t.

We say “Uh huh” and “You don’t say!”

And remember, with an order of zeppole.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent

Coyotes and Christians

I am not saying Christians are like coyotes. [For that, some could cut caustically to coyotes are like Christians — tricksters, roaming in the dark, feeding on the dead … ] Simply noticed — somewhat in passing, as it’s said, having attained, apparently … achieved? … some kind of state where nearly anything I hear,

Read More »

And Did Dostoevsky Say ‘Beauty Will Save’

Short answer: he did not. Neither did Prince Myshkin, that we know of. Likely both believed it. Beauty — in the person of Christ — will do so. And clearly D wrote of M in The Idiot to explore art and beauty and ugliness and salvation. But did he say it, and did he believe that

Read More »

What I Recalled Watching Netflix

[Television is educational.]   One Saying the same stuff over and over looks like you have different things to say. Two If you’re ever in a below-average film or streaming series, and you beat the tar out of a guy, in a house, and you gaze down in both some shock as also a certain

Read More »

Seeking the King

A line everywhere misattributed to Chesterton reads thus: The young man who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for God. This line is not from the great [several senses of the word] man who recently celebrated his 150th birthday, but the mid-century most unmodern novelist Bruce Marshall. The words — which do

Read More »

Random

I See That Hand

We imagine Thomas even doubted himself. When the other disciples said Christ had risen, this earnest empiricist first said, “unless I see” … then he realized it wasn’t enough. So he demanded to “thrust my hands into His side.” For Thomas, seeing wasn’t believing. But touch … that he had hopes for. * Seeing isn’t

Read More »

On the Rock

I often vow not to hope, and always break that vow. And the next thing I’m supposed to say is that finally my hopes are realized, my desires achieved and all my wildest dreams come true. But this is not what’s happening just now. Just now I break that vow and I don’t get what

Read More »

The Amazing Amazingness of Amazing Stuff

Amazing. Did it creep up on you as well? This overuse of the word “amazing” just sort of … appeared. Amazing. Here I was just a moment ago trying to read about the Dodgers, and Don Mattingly wanting more instant replay — they’d lost recently to the Brewers on a questionable call to end the

Read More »

People of Costco

We got some of our Christmas presents at Costco and I’m not sorry. For I am not ashamed of the gospel of volume discounting, for it is the confidence of 30 rolls of absorbent toilet paper and the power of barrels of mayonnaise unto certain kinds of satiation, and two items not unrelated in the

Read More »

Related

Animal Planet Part XVII

Well we watched the end of Planet of the Apes. Oy. The 2001 version ends, as you may know, in a massive battle scene, like some simian Braveheart. Huh? This is how a Tim Burton film (almost) ends? Not with a weirdness but a boom? Then there’s the whole Lincoln Memorial (actual) end. Huh? Huh?

Read More »

Whispers and Words

My dad died in my sleep. 2:35 AM in an upstate New York hospice; 11:35 PM in a Southern California house. A text saying to call and two voice mails I still haven’t listened to and speaking was as a sunrise. New but not unexpected. * Who’s the dust in this scenario? Remember, O Man, that thou art but

Read More »

Tesla Girl

Someone the other day called Elon Musk both an “inventor” and “a badass” but he is neither. Let me say flat-out, upfront, and clearly it’s good that Musk — entrepreneur behind the Tesla carmaker, companies involved in solar power and space exploration, and who was previously part of PayPal — is alive. We need people like him

Read More »

When We Lie

If mere humans may have things abominable to them, mine is lying. I hate it in nearly all forms: commercial advertising and political propaganda, of course, as well as even when people doing good things feel compelled to pretend they are flawless: that the rotten thing they just did is required by that good thing

Read More »