The Fat Guy and Buttons

By Paul Hughes / April 23, 2012

Buttons are the bane of the Fat Guy’s existence.

Buttons leave gaps when the Fat Guy’s fat rolls jiggle around and peek through them.
Buttons catch on drawer pulls, come undone at the belly, and are generally uncooperative.
Buttons are generally on costlier clothing, which means the Fat Guy is spending too much money on something he looks terrible in anyway.

Ironically, there are never enough buttons. A button-up shirt that has fewer than seven — and ideally eight — buttons, is going to stop buttoning above the belly.

Not pretty.

So in general, the Fat Guy prefers big bulky billowy pull-over type clothing.

Fortunately, fat guy stores make plenty of these.

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"Ask the beauty of the earth, ask the beauty of the sea, ask the beauty of the wide airy spaces, ask the beauty of the sky, ask the order of the stars, ask the sun, making daylight with its beams, ask the moon tempering the darkness of the night that follows, ask the living things which move in the waters, which tarry on the land, which fly in the air; ask the souls that are hidden, the bodies that are perceptive; the visible things which most be governed, the invisible things that govern ask these things, and they will all answer you, Yes, see we are lovely. Their beauty is their confession. And all these lovely but mutable things, who has made them, but Beauty immutable? "

— Augustine, Sermons 214.2

Do anything not everything