Functionally Illiterate Christian

Every few years I realize how wrong I’ve been. People who know me are faster on that, and even temporary acquaintances pick up the signals pretty quick, and I do the same for them.

All this has happened before, and it will all happen again, the line goes.
But this time it happened in … an ongoing recent spiritual growth spurt

This one involving wife and work and life and leading.

Prior-ly I was moving OK-ly, I thought. Not really, because though I thought it as I was doing it, every few days, sometimes oftener … disappointment with the results.

I read a little, and can reliably recall more. I was certain of some certain things, and went to church.

Heading in the wrong direction but making good time — and then, not even making the good time.

It’s the Functionally Illiterate Christian, meaning we get by (sort of) and read (sort of) and obey (sort of).

So dumping Don’t wanna be going nowhere, but going nowhere fast, I switched to Found and holding hands, and found I’m not married by accident.

My helpmeet gently helped — we people aren’t always — and prayed for me constantly
My work radically changed, and I’m actually about to earn money again. Feels, is, good.
In life, I’m writing less for a bit, maybe a couple months. Hadn’t been finishing anyway.
In leading, it’s what He says, and has said, and still says, try as I did, not to believe Him.

Because getting by is already a sort of, already mediocrity incarnate. Might be all we manage at  times, but get by sort of is definitely redundant.

And reading sort of is no fun. People do it — scanning headlines for the basic “news” or with escapist trash literature, as Michele calls it. Not a life.

And one can no more obey sort of than one can be pregnant sort of.

They used to say the Holy Roman Empire was none of the above, and a friend once said the same about a place called First Christian Church. As with those so with this: there is no Functionally Illiterate Christian because if we are one, we aren’t one.

Functionally Illiterate Christian is

Non-Functional (we don’t get by),
Non-Literate (we aren’t reading), and
Non-Christian (we don’t follow Christ).

The lukewarm bath is one many others have tried to wash in, leaving that thin layer of grime and soap skim. The fatal flaw isn’t water temperature, which comes with the Insanity Error of doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. No, the error is the trying to wash in it.

Because get by sort of and read sort of and obey sort of aren’t — by design, definition, and disappointing result — possible, trying to wash in them will … not … cannot … work.

I don’t want to be functionally anything. Such a bar is far too low.
I don’t want to read without believing. That’s wasted life and love.
I don’t want to follow like this, my way, offering sop to his leading.

This much: We’re not supposed to wash in it. We’re clean.

Don’t stay in the tub. Get out, get dressed, and get moving.

Naked — meaning nothing and waiting — before God, he clothes us, and sends us on his way.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent

Coyotes and Christians

I am not saying Christians are like coyotes. [For that, some could cut caustically to coyotes are like Christians — tricksters, roaming in the dark, feeding on the dead … ] Simply noticed — somewhat in passing, as it’s said, having attained, apparently … achieved? … some kind of state where nearly anything I hear,

Read More »

And Did Dostoevsky Say ‘Beauty Will Save’

Short answer: he did not. Neither did Prince Myshkin, that we know of. Likely both believed it. Beauty — in the person of Christ — will do so. And clearly D wrote of M in The Idiot to explore art and beauty and ugliness and salvation. But did he say it, and did he believe that

Read More »

What I Recalled Watching Netflix

[Television is educational.]   One Saying the same stuff over and over looks like you have different things to say. Two If you’re ever in a below-average film or streaming series, and you beat the tar out of a guy, in a house, and you gaze down in both some shock as also a certain

Read More »

Seeking the King

A line everywhere misattributed to Chesterton reads thus: The young man who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for God. This line is not from the great [several senses of the word] man who recently celebrated his 150th birthday, but the mid-century most unmodern novelist Bruce Marshall. The words — which do

Read More »

Random

God a Day

My sister gave me a “page-a-day” calendar for Christmas. Michele’s not as fond of them, because of all the paper I think she says. For me, it seems the perfect item: you tear one off, and bam! you’re done. Though it is a lot of paper … But mine is Bible verses, and it’s a

Read More »

What Men Want

In an office of the U.S. Postal Service this morning, a morning show deejay played clips from last night’s Leno and … I forget now, but prolly was a guy after Leno, on the same network. Come to think it, maybe they own the station, and the whole shtick — supposedly hey you might have

Read More »

I Wasn’t Talking To You

There is a story from the Johnson Administration which has PBS journalist Bill Moyers, at the time LBJ’s communications director, praying before a meal. With many guests attending, Moyers was at one end of the table and the Leader of the Free World at the other. As Moyers said grace, President Johnson said, “I can’t

Read More »

Whee

Each animal has its glory. The dog his ears, the rabbit her tail, the dolphin their leaps. Elephant trunk Moose antlers Giraffe … duh Walrus tusks Whale tails Wolf howl Bear claw Bird caw + [We’d first say flight of course but see, think, feel they all fly and largely the same — tho the

Read More »

Related

Columbo: Why We Watch

This is part one of a two-part post on why, some 45 years later, we still watch Columbo. Part two is here. This essay is excerpted from The Columbo Case Files: Season One, found here. Thank you. * For my wedding, I asked for and received the Columbo DVD collection. Complete to that point, it ended

Read More »

Animal Planet Part XVII

Well we watched the end of Planet of the Apes. Oy. The 2001 version ends, as you may know, in a massive battle scene, like some simian Braveheart. Huh? This is how a Tim Burton film (almost) ends? Not with a weirdness but a boom? Then there’s the whole Lincoln Memorial (actual) end. Huh? Huh?

Read More »

Lyric Lent

Mostly I gave up meat for Lent. Or to put it another way, I gave up meat (mostly) for Lent. And this is how Lent often goes and the difference I think isn’t usually that it doesn’t go that way but that it’s OK when it does. Not that it’s OK to give our word

Read More »

The American Poet

In evangellyfish circles there used to be a joke thus — Let us now turn to Malachi, the Italian prophet. The joke works if you say chi the way we’re supposed to say Qi if it’s the Chinese thing. And it works, though my Italian wife will die on the bruschetta with a hard “k”

Read More »