Out of You and Me

Leave a Comment / By Paul Hughes / July 2, 2016

An important decision

Zig Ziglar …
Wendell Berry …
or James Lee Burke?

The book one brings to morning coffee out is not unlike the t-shirt options one has later that evening

SpongeBob …
Arsenal F.C. …
or Feel the Bern?

Managing our reputations, as the LinkedInFluencers say. Wouldn’t wanna cross those guys.

It’s usually about trying to say something unique, trying to be something unique.

Of course we can’t avoid being unique but we don’t think we are, so we keep trying.

There’s another way. It’s harder but — by which I mean and thus — it’s well worth it. More precisely there are two ‘nother ways

Say something
Say nothing

Or rather

Say something different
Say nothing, which is different

An easy something different can be to ask the other a question. It must be honest and sincere. Prolly we’ll have to work at it.

To say nothing, which is different — that second option — means we can talk but only to comment on what the other says, not ourselves.

This isn’t about being coy or combative, shy or manipulative. It’s the studied studying of the other.

Why the other?

Because they are.

Rainer Maria Rilke said it was a marvel (or German to that effect) two people ever truly communicated, that one ever knew anything, or cd know anything, about the other. And he’s talking about people in love — people who want to know the other.

In any event … a marvel.

A wonder.

And that’s the key.

Knowing the other — making the other another — turning someone in your mind and heart from utterly alien to one who … isn’t … who is still an other into another — to one we come truly to want to know about … to know truly about … to know about truly … is a marvel, accomplished by wonder.

Treat it — and them — as one.

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

Recent

Coyotes and Christians

I am not saying Christians are like coyotes. [For that, some could cut caustically to coyotes are like Christians — tricksters, roaming in the dark, feeding on the dead … ] Simply noticed — somewhat in passing, as it’s said, having attained, apparently … achieved? … some kind of state where nearly anything I hear,

And Did Dostoevsky Say ‘Beauty Will Save’

Short answer: he did not. Neither did Prince Myshkin, that we know of. Likely both believed it. Beauty — in the person of Christ — will do so. And clearly D wrote of M in The Idiot to explore art and beauty and ugliness and salvation. But did he say it, and did he believe that

What I Recalled Watching Netflix

[Television is educational.] One Saying the same stuff over and over looks like you have different things to say. Two If you’re ever in a below-average film or streaming series, and you beat the tar out of a guy, in a house, and you gaze down in both some shock as also a certain

Seeking the King

A line everywhere misattributed to Chesterton reads thus: The young man who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for God. This line is not from the great [several senses of the word] man who recently celebrated his 150th birthday, but the mid-century most unmodern novelist Bruce Marshall. The words — which do

Random

Events Full

Five weeks ago I gave six-weeks notice at the business journal. It came about five weeks in on the largest weekly increases in initial unemployment claims since the real estate recession. To date we’re just shy of 39 million in nine weeks, with, for me, one week to go. As at least one other person

Ensamples

Among the worst things about The Slap is how it has fed self-righteousness in all but the two participants, and they already had it or it wldn’t have happened. But there is Solzhenitsyn, again, with the line between good and evil that cuts through every human heart, and there is Dostoevsky, always, reminding us via

Tesla Girl

Someone the other day called Elon Musk both an “inventor” and “a badass” but he is neither. Let me say flat-out, upfront, and clearly it’s good that Musk — entrepreneur behind the Tesla carmaker, companies involved in solar power and space exploration, and who was previously part of PayPal — is alive. We need people like him

The Fat Guy and Sex

Related

On the Rock

I often vow not to hope, and always break that vow. And the next thing I’m supposed to say is that finally my hopes are realized, my desires achieved and all my wildest dreams come true. But this is not what’s happening just now. Just now I break that vow and I don’t get what

Is Not That Special?

From a review of a book on founding Britain’s Special Air Service in World War II, what was required of recruits — Courage Fitness Determination Discipline Skill Intelligence Training and another review noted, quoting the book — “Recruits tended to be unusual to the point of eccentricity … people who did not fit easily into the

Centurion Prayer Day One

Going to start a little experiment. Well, it’s not terribly small, given that it will take nearly a third of a year that’s already one-fourth done. I’m calling the idea Centurion Prayer. I already like the name, so don’t try to change my mind. The idea is 100 days of prayer, and it’s not a

Do Piece — Anger (Buechner)

Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving