Never Get Out Of The Boat

So you’re on this boat.

You’re near enough to land if you want some of that, but you don’t exactly want to leave the old life. The old life in this case is not the bad old days B.C. Those are way gone. In fact, they mayn’t even be optional for you anymore.

Sorry.

That’s what happens when you obey. The upside is good, real good … though sometimes that wavers in our minds when the flush of Hey! I didn’t drown in that cataclysm! dulls its hues a little. We look about, we’re on the boat, and life is settling into normal.

You don’t even mind the stench as much as you used to.

*

Yep, you rode the boat out of that place — old days, old life, old man — and into some smooth sailing.

If only the rain hadn’t stopped.

As long as the rain kept up, and people needed the boat, and in some ways the boat needed the people too, decisions were easy. Just stay in the boat. Don’t drown. All good.

Bam.

The boat found Mount Ararat, or parts thereabouts.

Now the instructions are different.

Go.

Do Stuff.

Make a Life.

Get Outta the Boat.

*

It’s like at the end of “The Truman Show,” when he takes the boat out, and the waves crash, and it is full on raining,and then it all stops, and he hits land, of a sort. He hits something solid anyway, and gets out, opens the door, and steps through.

“But what does he do now?” asked a friend in the group I saw it with.

“Anything he wants,” I said.

You begin to see a problem.

Because this time we’re a little bit on our own.

Go.

Not entirely: we have guides — human and historical, written and regular.

We have the command: Get out of the boat.

But just as we realize there are so many things we can do … “anything he wants” … we also realize … oh man Oh God there are so many things we can do.

Not all of them good.

And anyway … despite our pretty good early obedience, we’re not always ready to get out of the boat and do any and all things we want. Many of us, I would venture most of us, like the safety of the boat, even if it’s a little cramped sometimes.

Some of us jump right out, splashing about in the waves, getting sand in our hair, finding out we can’t yet … swim.

Either way, we can’t stay there forever. We have to do something.

Go.

*

Take Jonah.

Jonah got out of his boat by getting into one.

God said Go.

Jonah went somewhere else. Went off and did “anything he wants” in the bad way. In a good way, too, in the end, and in that God certainly had things covered. But sometimes we don’t know the full story until it ends.

Obedience for Jonah would have been to go to Nineveh. Don’t get in the boat.

Dissent for Jonah was getting in the boat, heading in the exact opposite direction of the city.

Jonah: boat-rocker of the first order.

He refused the Deity, and ran away.

To mess with God, he got on a boat.

The winds rose and the waves grew.

And, like Noah, he didn’t want to get out of the boat.

But he did man up, and he got out: head first and with help of the crew.

He ended up a boat-rocker of another kind, going to Nineveh and dissenting s’more — only this time he went against not God but the prevailing zeitgeist.

Kinda funny: Jonah’s boat-rocking, bad-tuding, in-God’s-face dissent served him well. Not to mention a good portion of the people of Nineveh. His manner fit the man; his talent fit the task. And probably God knew it would.

*

Never get out of the boat.

In Apocalypse Now, this is the advice given to Martin Sheen’s Captain Benjamin Willard.

But they do — they get out of the boat. (NSFW) And a tiger chases them back into it.

“‘Never get out of the boat,’” says Willard as the boat speeds away, .50-caliber machine gun chattering. “That’s goddamn right.”

Yes.

If all you have is a .50 caliber machine gun.

Never get out of the boat.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent

Coyotes and Christians

I am not saying Christians are like coyotes. [For that, some could cut caustically to coyotes are like Christians — tricksters, roaming in the dark, feeding on the dead … ] Simply noticed — somewhat in passing, as it’s said, having attained, apparently … achieved? … some kind of state where nearly anything I hear,

Read More »

And Did Dostoevsky Say ‘Beauty Will Save’

Short answer: he did not. Neither did Prince Myshkin, that we know of. Likely both believed it. Beauty — in the person of Christ — will do so. And clearly D wrote of M in The Idiot to explore art and beauty and ugliness and salvation. But did he say it, and did he believe that

Read More »

What I Recalled Watching Netflix

[Television is educational.]   One Saying the same stuff over and over looks like you have different things to say. Two If you’re ever in a below-average film or streaming series, and you beat the tar out of a guy, in a house, and you gaze down in both some shock as also a certain

Read More »

Seeking the King

A line everywhere misattributed to Chesterton reads thus: The young man who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for God. This line is not from the great [several senses of the word] man who recently celebrated his 150th birthday, but the mid-century most unmodern novelist Bruce Marshall. The words — which do

Read More »

Random

Inglorious Bastards

This is a post borne of a recent article in Leadership Journal, by a guy who’s been meeting with Ted Haggard. I don’t usually write on stuff like that — it is cheeseball to even appear to piggyback for one’s own benefit on somebody else’s popular post, or to try and capitalize on an au

Read More »

Get Out Of The Boat

For Jonah, dissent was a felix culpa, a happy fault that brought him closer to God. Or like Dante, when doubting pleased him no less than knowing (Inferno, Canto 11), for what he could learn and gain. Our error brings us closer to Him. And He knew it would do so. Then we know he

Read More »

The Fat Guy And Food

The Fat Guy does not particularly like food. There are gourmands, who also are likely to be massively obese — think Mario Batali, who can be easily envisioned in one of those old “Faces of Death” videos, hammering the monkey trapped in the middle of the dining table and scooping brains out of the not-yet-dead

Read More »

Trusting Taylor Sheridan

Yellowstone sucks. Och! — but you knew that. Wait … umm … we can agree on that right? + Prolly not — else why this blog post and the recent headline that its ‘creator’, Taylor Sheridan, said Season 4 is in the can. + I tried to get through Season 1 again. Had bought it a

Read More »

Related

Plough Lines

“For sale: baby shoes” is a classified ad. “For sale: baby shoes; never worn” is a story. It’s Hemingway’s, in fact. * “The king is dead” is a news bulletin. “The king died, and the queen died of grief” is a story. Better yet, “The king died, and the queen and her lover died in

Read More »

Who They Are

The poet felt injustice in calling it Fancy Ketchup. The priest said the most grievous sins can be forgiven. * The priest wondered if anyone changed. The poet said he’d seen it often, depending on who was paying. * The poet would punish evil by making them hated by all. The priest would in having

Read More »

An Epic For Our Time

Peter Jackson’s “The Hobbit” is like cram, the bread the dwarves eat for weeks as they explore The Lonely Mountain — and for much longer as men and elves lay them siege. It sustains but does not nourish, providing energy but no taste. But let Tolkien tell it: “I don’t know the recipe, but it

Read More »

Metered Sins

Poetry’s a sneaky bastard. All the time sidling up to one on false pretenses — ‘It’s just the one’ … ‘We won’t intrude’ — and they’re all lies damn one’s eyes! Lies-damned-lies and no need for statistics and the pile of warm laundry does not diminish and soon loses its warmth and begins to glower

Read More »