What Men Want

In an office of the U.S. Postal Service this morning, a morning show deejay played clips from last night’s Leno and … I forget now, but prolly was a guy after Leno, on the same network.

Come to think it, maybe they own the station, and the whole shtick — supposedly hey you might have missed this because it’s on late at night — was just another advert for itself.

And it’d be tragic if we missed even a minute of TV’s bubble gum flavored Quaaludes.

The bits were about St. Valentine’s Day, which is today, and which at airtime was about to start or had just done so. So there was the Hey it’s                   ! where you fill in the blank, with the joke coming next. In this case, the joke was on the holiday, except insofar as the joke is on us.

The crowd cheered and the jokes were clichéd (one “Notre Dame guy” and one “don’t forget”) and then I was called to do my bidness with USPS. You wouldn’t think getting my chance at the window was a mercy, but compared to what was on the radio, I was dancing to that counter.

*

It’s for women.

I get it. That’s the deal. Flowers, candy, dinner out — not stuff men gen’raly even genially look for. Sure, I like a flower now and again, but no candy. And Michele’s an awesome cook.

Hey, no problem.

But, what of men?

What do we want?

We want to serve.

All right, I grant you: good men want to serve.

Some chronologically adult genetically male individuals want to play Xbox.

But good men, being what men are supposed to be — men who are men — want to serve.

Sometimes husbands and wives end up watching separate televisions. They pass each other in the halls because they still work together and show up for each others’ birthday cakes, but they never socialize outside of business hours.

Thousand reasons for it, 90 percent of ‘em shit, and they boil down to one. Different post.

Suffice to say …

Shouldn’t be this way.

Men … we do want to serve.

Seen it so in myself, if too rarely.

*

Picture this: wife comes home — from work, girl’s night out, shopping for school stuff, whatever — takes off her shoes, rubs her feet.

[Rubs her feet, gentlemen!]

She says something ‘bout that they ache.

If the man’s on: I mean if he’s on, if all cylinders are firin’, if he’s jammin’, if he’s got it down

His first thought is, “Baby needs a new pair of shoes.”
His middle thought is, “Puttin’ in a softer floor this weekend, by God.”
And His last thought is, “I’ma kill the mofo who made my girl those cruel shoes.”

Maybe she just wants a poor baby.

Maybe she thinks all this is overkill.

[Or maybe she wants a foot rub, gentlemen. Duh.]

Alls I’m sayin’ is, we want to serve.

We do.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent

What I Recalled Watching Netflix

[Television is educational.]   One Saying the same stuff over and over looks like you have different things to say. Two If you’re ever in a below-average film or streaming series, and you beat the tar out of a guy, in a house, and you gaze down in both some shock as also a certain

Read More »

Seeking the King

A line everywhere misattributed to Chesterton reads thus: The young man who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for God. This line is not from the great [several senses of the word] man who recently celebrated his 150th birthday, but the mid-century most unmodern novelist Bruce Marshall. The words — which do

Read More »

He’s the Guy

Those social media posts of ‘this moment in this famous film was totally unscripted!!!’ as if that by itself makes it better miss the point. Moat unscripted material, like most ideas, inventions, ideas, notions, &c … fails — such is the nature of creativity: the best stuff, it is devoutly to be wished, sticks around;

Read More »

‘Round Here

Imagine someone, potentially anyone, even you, perhaps, but let us, in any case, say. Yes, you. You pull into the diner – Earl’s, Norm’s, Dinah’s, something like that. A sort-of Googie architecture … but maybe not quite, as if it’d been a little late for the Space Age, and late is the one thing you

Read More »

Random

Do Piece — Anger (Buechner)

Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving

Read More »

Total Recall

Don’t stop me if you’ve heard this one … There was a woman who claimed to talk with God — not to Him, but with Him. The tale was well-told around town, in which there was also a priest. The priest one day after Mass asked to speak with the woman and when they’d settled

Read More »

Lapsed Pray-er

When I pray in the morning I often lapse into The Jesus Prayer. The link notes the Eastern Orthodox connection and its basic form — Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. — though it seems actually to come in different shapes and colors, some slightly longer and more formal,

Read More »

Ark Of The Christian Life

Not God is the phrase they use in AA for realizing we are, well … not God. And no, I’m not an alcoholic. No really — I’m not. Not God is also the answer to the question, WTF? What is wrong with people, this place, my parents, and our upbringing, education, choices and decisions, and probably

Read More »

Related

Trouble and Strife

Septic tank is Cockney rhyming slang for “Yank” which may suggest what trouble and strife is slang for. But it’s not fair of course, and good men, and most men some of the time, know she’s not only that. Upon noting once how, yes, “children are a bother,” Dallas Willard made the important philosophical distinction

Read More »

What We Need

Seek and find We all need something. I need a new power cord. They need to read the Psalms. You need to shop shouting at your kids. Guy on that bus bench needs a sandwich.  Two. Fellow on the couch at this Starbucks needs to stay off drugs. Woman talking to herself, petting a collie

Read More »

When We Lie

If mere humans may have things abominable to them, mine is lying. I hate it in nearly all forms: commercial advertising and political propaganda, of course, as well as even when people doing good things feel compelled to pretend they are flawless: that the rotten thing they just did is required by that good thing

Read More »

Shock And Ow

I’ve had many exchanges over the years where my statement about something was taken as surprise at the event rather than what it was — which is anger over human inaction facing it. Having worked 1.75 teenage males through the household over the last dozen years this has often been a thing one or the other has

Read More »