Covidomatic Libs

Leave a Comment / By Paul Hughes / May 7, 2020

Dear _____ , (supporter, donor, customer, friend, co-afflicted)

In these _____ (unprecedented, challenging, dangerous, difficult) times, we know you’re _____ (standing strong, bearing up well, getting ripe, fingering the edge of the cleaver and gazing at your partner’s neck) and miss our _____ (plums, belly dancers, unmatched selection of fine wines, engine repair tutorials) as much as we wish we could offer them.

_____ , (Unfortunately, Bummer, Too damn bad, Ontologically), however, _____ (jack–booted brownshirt government thugs; miscreants, thugs, and scapegraces; current healthcare policies, our respective horoscopes) prevent us.

But _____ (never, sometimes, daily, maybe just a little) fear! We will _____ (soon, probably, any day now, by winter — absolute latest) be in a _____ (prime, mostly ready, greatly reduced) position to once again _____ (connect, circle back, partner, exchange goods and services for cash) with you.

Please bring the _____ . (cash)

That is, if you _____ (still want us, ha! ha!; wear a mask; pay in cash; aren’t agoraphobic by now) and continue to enjoy _____ (plums; zither music; humans, but not like that Twilight Zone, the one about the cookbook and the aliens; fine wine). Practice Safe Specs! Be _____ (aware you’re not the only aggrieved party, ready to back off, kind). Remember social distancing: the six feet we all seek is similar in length to _____ (an adult male, a broadsword or musket, two friends facing each other extending their arms outward with the fingertips … juusst barely, but not quite, touching, the depth of a grave).

And hey, have _____ (fun! extra gloves! your own disinfectant!)

See you _____ (around Christmas — remembering there are 12 Days of it, and that winter technically extends into mid-March).

_____ , (Cheers, Lotsa luck, Don’t cough)

Rex Kwando
In Vino _____ (Nevahmind)

Image:
Vegas Craps 1982
by LeRoy Neiman

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

Recent

What I Recalled Watching Netflix

[Television is educational.] One Saying the same stuff over and over looks like you have different things to say. Two If you’re ever in a below-average film or streaming series, and you beat the tar out of a guy, in a house, and you gaze down in both some shock as also a certain

Seeking the King

A line everywhere misattributed to Chesterton reads thus: The young man who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for God. This line is not from the great [several senses of the word] man who recently celebrated his 150th birthday, but the mid-century most unmodern novelist Bruce Marshall. The words — which do

He’s the Guy

Those social media posts of ‘this moment in this famous film was totally unscripted!!!’ as if that by itself makes it better miss the point. Moat unscripted material, like most ideas, inventions, ideas, notions, &c … fails — such is the nature of creativity: the best stuff, it is devoutly to be wished, sticks around;

‘Round Here

Imagine someone, potentially anyone, even you, perhaps, but let us, in any case, say. Yes, you. You pull into the diner – Earl’s, Norm’s, Dinah’s, something like that. A sort-of Googie architecture … but maybe not quite, as if it’d been a little late for the Space Age, and late is the one thing you

Random

Tesla Girl

Someone the other day called Elon Musk both an “inventor” and “a badass” but he is neither. Let me say flat-out, upfront, and clearly it’s good that Musk — entrepreneur behind the Tesla carmaker, companies involved in solar power and space exploration, and who was previously part of PayPal — is alive. We need people like him

One Question, Two Answers

How to be really great Your life will be immeasurably great — incalculably awesome — if you put others in place of … you. We will be great if we put others before us. That is, if we put them first. One week at church, a pastor culled some points from a book on Christian

When We Lie

If mere humans may have things abominable to them, mine is lying. I hate it in nearly all forms: commercial advertising and political propaganda, of course, as well as even when people doing good things feel compelled to pretend they are flawless: that the rotten thing they just did is required by that good thing

Everyman’s Death

It’s legit unseemly. Our being ‘gutted’ and whatnot by the deaths of people we don’t know. Still, there is John Donne and there is continuity and there is in the end … us. Well, there ought to be but we usually skip not to the end — that bell tollling for we. + Also unseemly

Related

Room Where It Happens

If the line between good and evil cuts through the human heart there’s gotta be some overlap. The lovely mesh seems so far to last oh … about forever and it occurred this morning it will never quite be clean this side of the fundy conception of the Jordan. Even Dr. Willard, averring as he

Nothing in Common

. [you are not here] It’s not going to be easy. Thinking of nothing takes longer than one might expect. [In]famously ‘a show about nothing’ Seinfeld ’twas really about nothingness. Nothingness is nihilism and is to the nothing of creation as ‘a live coal dropped in the sea‘. Ours is the God whose ‘strength is

Everyman’s Death

It’s legit unseemly. Our being ‘gutted’ and whatnot by the deaths of people we don’t know. Still, there is John Donne and there is continuity and there is in the end … us. Well, there ought to be but we usually skip not to the end — that bell tollling for we. + Also unseemly

Happy in Our Work

To put the last first … Yes … can’t always get what we want Yes yes … we work as unto the Lord Yes yes yes … sacrifice, live, die, etc. But … what for? How then shall we live and die? + Saito says it’s this. To End All Wars — what Prisoner of