Covidomatic Libs

Leave a Comment / By Paul Hughes / May 7, 2020

Dear _____ , (supporter, donor, customer, friend, co-afflicted)

In these _____ (unprecedented, challenging, dangerous, difficult) times, we know you’re _____ (standing strong, bearing up well, getting ripe, fingering the edge of the cleaver and gazing at your partner’s neck) and miss our _____ (plums, belly dancers, unmatched selection of fine wines, engine repair tutorials) as much as we wish we could offer them.

_____ , (Unfortunately, Bummer, Too damn bad, Ontologically), however, _____ (jack–booted brownshirt government thugs; miscreants, thugs, and scapegraces; current healthcare policies, our respective horoscopes) prevent us.

But _____ (never, sometimes, daily, maybe just a little) fear! We will _____ (soon, probably, any day now, by winter — absolute latest) be in a _____ (prime, mostly ready, greatly reduced) position to once again _____ (connect, circle back, partner, exchange goods and services for cash) with you.

Please bring the _____ . (cash)

That is, if you _____ (still want us, ha! ha!; wear a mask; pay in cash; aren’t agoraphobic by now) and continue to enjoy _____ (plums; zither music; humans, but not like that Twilight Zone, the one about the cookbook and the aliens; fine wine). Practice Safe Specs! Be _____ (aware you’re not the only aggrieved party, ready to back off, kind). Remember social distancing: the six feet we all seek is similar in length to _____ (an adult male, a broadsword or musket, two friends facing each other extending their arms outward with the fingertips … juusst barely, but not quite, touching, the depth of a grave).

And hey, have _____ (fun! extra gloves! your own disinfectant!)

See you _____ (around Christmas — remembering there are 12 Days of it, and that winter technically extends into mid-March).

_____ , (Cheers, Lotsa luck, Don’t cough)

Rex Kwando
In Vino _____ (Nevahmind)

Image:
Vegas Craps 1982
by LeRoy Neiman

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

Recent

Coyotes and Christians

I am not saying Christians are like coyotes. [For that, some could cut caustically to coyotes are like Christians — tricksters, roaming in the dark, feeding on the dead … ] Simply noticed — somewhat in passing, as it’s said, having attained, apparently … achieved? … some kind of state where nearly anything I hear,

And Did Dostoevsky Say ‘Beauty Will Save’

Short answer: he did not. Neither did Prince Myshkin, that we know of. Likely both believed it. Beauty — in the person of Christ — will do so. And clearly D wrote of M in The Idiot to explore art and beauty and ugliness and salvation. But did he say it, and did he believe that

What I Recalled Watching Netflix

[Television is educational.] One Saying the same stuff over and over looks like you have different things to say. Two If you’re ever in a below-average film or streaming series, and you beat the tar out of a guy, in a house, and you gaze down in both some shock as also a certain

Seeking the King

A line everywhere misattributed to Chesterton reads thus: The young man who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for God. This line is not from the great [several senses of the word] man who recently celebrated his 150th birthday, but the mid-century most unmodern novelist Bruce Marshall. The words — which do

Random

Shock And Ow

I’ve had many exchanges over the years where my statement about something was taken as surprise at the event rather than what it was — which is anger over human inaction facing it. Having worked 1.75 teenage males through the household over the last dozen years this has often been a thing one or the other has

Un Success Full

Thomas Merton was asked once to contribute to a book on success — specifically a statement of how he’d achieved it in his own life. I replied indignantly that I was not able to consider myself a success in any terms that had meaning to me. If it happened that I had once written a

Get In The Boat

You’re in this boat. I’m going to say the boat is our life in Christ, though over time the boat image, the water metaphor, has done yeoman’s work for pastors immemorial — it’s our body, our life, our church, our baptism, our faith, our death. You get the idea. Now imagine you’re the first guy

Happy in Our Work

To put the last first … Yes … can’t always get what we want Yes yes … we work as unto the Lord Yes yes yes … sacrifice, live, die, etc. But … what for? How then shall we live and die? + Saito says it’s this. To End All Wars — what Prisoner of

Related

Plague Dog

During the lockdown read The Plague, turned page next to The Book of the Dun Cow. Not an immediately clear connection not least because Dun Cow is far lesser known. Both chronicle communities within a larger one within a larger world. First, of course, is the full circle vicious and virtual, during a pandemic; latter

No Prizes for Subtlety

It was the sort of place you wouldn’t be found dead in; the guy on the floor didn’t agree. Didn’t seem to like the floor — but it was in better shape than his face. Then someone had gone duck hunting on his chest. And either another guy was standing in front of me, or the

Didn’t Graduate

Hadda a girl once, this was during college. Darkest, longest hair, biggest brownest eyes … Not that kind of story, whatever kind you thought. Being stupid (I said this was during college, yes?) I’d no idea … none. Not what it was nor what it cd be and thus not that one though it set

Whee

Each animal has its glory. The dog his ears, the rabbit her tail, the dolphin their leaps. Elephant trunk Moose antlers Giraffe … duh Walrus tusks Whale tails Wolf howl Bear claw Bird caw + [We’d first say flight of course but see, think, feel they all fly and largely the same — tho the