Talks With A Duck

Obscured in the kerfuffle over Mr. Robertson’s coarser comments on the Fairer Sex is a simple fact that any five-year-old can tell us: Adults say the darnedest things.

This has since been confirmed by the comments of many other adults, critiquing the original notes on the female form offered by the “Duck Dynasty” patriarch — responses as predictable as they are misguided.

Because the second fact of the matter is in some ways less simple (and in some ways not) and more far-reaching and profound: When saying the darnedest things, Americans have the particular privilege of legal protection.

More than mere permission, in fact, is that’s where the Constitution starts. It’s its default position. It isn’t simply OK. It’s assumed.

OK, that much we know. It’s obvious. People say it all the time. Except then we go off on each other anyway.

But our best response, whatever our beliefs, may be … nothing.

*

Meaning whether we agree with Mr. Robertson or not, we can say nothing of it.

Support free speech? Let him speak, that others may here — and that speech remain free.

Think him a fool? Then let him speak, that others may see — and that speech remain free.

*

Instead people on both sides of the question dive into the shallow end head first, and then we’re paralyzed by all the usual suspects shoveling up all the common critiques.

Christians absolutely affirm certain truths, in this case about marriage. Those who oppose us in this do the same: affirm certain truths. And both as Americans correctly also defend the U.S. Constitutional privilege of saying stuff, even if it’s stupid or silly.

For example, in expressing bafflement over certain beliefs, Mr. Robertson seems mainly to have affirmed this one —

women are beautiful, and men appreciate this.

Or, in his argot —

chicks are hot and dudes dig that.

And of course his special ways of saying stuff was until this point one of the chief attractions to Duck Dynasty viewers, and therefore his cable channel. A&E has made a lot of money off the Robertson clan’s way of seeing the world — what they believe, because of what/who they are, and then saying stuff about it.

It was quaint at the time, I guess. And of course profitable. Which explains their otherwise odd expression of shock and outrage at these views and their colorful expression. When it became that public and the money river was threatened … well.

Up ‘til now they’ve been — literally — banking on them.

Then, too, A& E’s response is entirely predictable.

Then, too, that’s entirely protected by law, as well.

Because we’re banking on it, too, and that’s more vital.

Because all of this is to gently remind all of us that, unlike what we seem to do with so many other things today, this isn’t a ‘something’ rights issue. It’s foundational and basic. This is a rights rights issue.

He may be right, he may be crazy, and he just may be the lunatic … well, you know.  Because if free speech is not simply a permission but an assumption, several things are so:

Anyone gets to. Including Christians, non-Christians, anti-Christians and Oldsmobile men.
Anyone else gets to do it back. Including that same list, in reverse. Or don’t.
Anytime we Americans assume, sometimes … well, you know.

Adults say the darnedest things, and here we get to.

And sometimes the best response is none.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent

Coyotes and Christians

I am not saying Christians are like coyotes. [For that, some could cut caustically to coyotes are like Christians — tricksters, roaming in the dark, feeding on the dead … ] Simply noticed — somewhat in passing, as it’s said, having attained, apparently … achieved? … some kind of state where nearly anything I hear,

Read More »

And Did Dostoevsky Say ‘Beauty Will Save’

Short answer: he did not. Neither did Prince Myshkin, that we know of. Likely both believed it. Beauty — in the person of Christ — will do so. And clearly D wrote of M in The Idiot to explore art and beauty and ugliness and salvation. But did he say it, and did he believe that

Read More »

What I Recalled Watching Netflix

[Television is educational.]   One Saying the same stuff over and over looks like you have different things to say. Two If you’re ever in a below-average film or streaming series, and you beat the tar out of a guy, in a house, and you gaze down in both some shock as also a certain

Read More »

Seeking the King

A line everywhere misattributed to Chesterton reads thus: The young man who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for God. This line is not from the great [several senses of the word] man who recently celebrated his 150th birthday, but the mid-century most unmodern novelist Bruce Marshall. The words — which do

Read More »

Random

Columbo: Why It Matters

This is part two of a two-part post on why, some 45 years later, Columbo still matters. Part one is here. This essay is excerpted from The Columbo Case Files: Season One, found here. Thank you. * I now have the entire collection, all 35 years, nearly 70 episodes in all, and I’ve seen each

Read More »

Ark Of The Christian Life

Not God is the phrase they use in AA for realizing we are, well … not God. And no, I’m not an alcoholic. No really — I’m not. Not God is also the answer to the question, WTF? What is wrong with people, this place, my parents, and our upbringing, education, choices and decisions, and probably

Read More »

Itch-A-Sketch

Church folk and artists haven’t always been friends. Ha. Get it? Because it seems they’ve almost never been friends, though that’s not true, and shouldn’t be, but just how much it shouldn’t be isn’t clear. It’s as someone said about once about a poet: Dylan Thomas wrote six great poems, but no one knows which

Read More »

Jesus FAIL

They killed him yesterday and it was awful, as you might expect. Crucifixion, like a common criminal — but he wasn’t common, though now he’s a criminal. He broke their laws, which I guess are our laws. No. He confirmed our Law. Justice: fulfill the Law. But the Romans didn’t want justice; they wanted quiet.

Read More »

Related

Ship of Friend

Two dynamics characterize the practice of contemplation: deepening concentration and expanding awareness. These two are one. They give birth to twins: inner solitude and loving solidarity with all. Martin Laird, A Sunlight Absence This post started a little rando, but its contents aren’t … heh — especially where its contents aren’t mine. Elsewhere — possibly

Read More »

Too Old For This

You know the line. Usually spoken by an ersatz Bruce Willis type, it is well past cliché, sliding in safely but awkwardly beyond its years to self-parody, as predictable as the pablum in which it appears. [And note, I like every other Die Hard movie.] And yet, here I am: Too old for this. I

Read More »

Get In The Boat

You’re in this boat. I’m going to say the boat is our life in Christ, though over time the boat image, the water metaphor, has done yeoman’s work for pastors immemorial — it’s our body, our life, our church, our baptism, our faith, our death. You get the idea. Now imagine you’re the first guy

Read More »

Bread

“We’re sorry,” said the man, pointing. “We ain’t much here.” The woman, they guessed his wife by the way she puttered around, doing many small things but nothing really, was shaking her head. The two were indicating the table, which indeed was sparse: bread of some kind, though it looked fresh baked at least, with

Read More »